Sweet little Nicholas

Nicholas is still in the hospital. We are on month three now. He has been diagnosed with a condition called bronco-pulminary displaysia. This means that he has damage to his lungs caused by the equipment used to keep him alive when he was born. It wasn't anything that the doctors did wrong, or anything that wasn't done properly, but just an unfortunate side effect. Some of the side effects of his condition is poor eating habits. It literally sucks every ounce of energy out of him when he tries to drink a bottle. One of the requirements for him to be able to come home is that he must be able to take all of his feedings by a bottle, for 2 days in a row. We were doing really good for a while, and then suddenly he slowed down, which caused him to have to stay in the hospital longer. Everyone was angry, saying "they should just let him come home. Even if he isn't eating well, we can deal with it.". However, these past few days, God showed me yet again, why his plan doesn't match our plan. Yesterday, and the day before, Nicholas started having heart rate drops. One of them was so severe that they had to pick him up and shake him to make him start breathing again. It was in his sleep. Had he been at home, we would have never known his heart rate was dropping.

I think that everyone has to remember that Nicholas is in God's hands. God put him at Presbyterian hospital for a reason. Maybe he knew what he was facing, and knew that the doctors here would be able to help him.

It has taken me a while to come to terms with the fact that Nicholas is not a healthy baby. I can't expect him to grow and mature like a healthy baby. I have to be patient and understand that his homecoming is going to happen. It just has to happen on his terms. When Nicholas is ready.

A few weeks

A few weeks have passed since the last post, but so much has happened. At the end of the last post, we were sure Eva was coming home. We made the preperations, but Eva decided she didn't want to leave her brother and had some complications. She ended up staying another week, and then came home. Matt went to pick her up because I had a crisis at work. She joined the family and filled part of the puzzle that was missing.
For the most part, we love having her home. The 2:00 A.M. feedings has become a sore spot in our marriage. We both think the other should be doing it, and is the cause of many sleepy arguments!!! But, then, as I look down at her sweet face as she sucks her bottle down, I remember how blessed we are to have the opportunity to have a 2:00 feeding and I hug her just a little tighter. I was really bummed that I couldn't take time off work to be with her until she was big and healthy enough to go to daycare. However, after much prayer and soul searching, Matthew and I decided that if she couldn't be with me all day, there was only one other place that I was sure she would get the most love, attention and care that she needed. Off to grandma's house she goes!! I feel so blessed that I can go to work and not even worry about her. She is in the best hands, and I suspect Grandma has a direct line to Jesus, so I can't think of a better place for her to be.
As far as her development goes, she is a three month old, trapped in a newborn's body. She is, for all practical purposes, a newborn baby. However, the doctor says by the time she is a year old, she will catch up.

Nicholas on the other hand, wasn't so eager to come home. He has had issues with his breathing, and given us several scares.
But, he finally decided early last week that he was tired of the hospital, and started getting better. She started yanking his oxygen tube out, and wanting to breathe on his own.
He started eating his bottles, and acting like a real baby! By the grace of God, and the prayers of our loved ones, we expect him home in five days.

I have to post some pictures soon!! Thank you all so much for keeping up with our journey.