Nicholas is still in the hospital. We are on month three now. He has been diagnosed with a condition called bronco-pulminary displaysia. This means that he has damage to his lungs caused by the equipment used to keep him alive when he was born. It wasn't anything that the doctors did wrong, or anything that wasn't done properly, but just an unfortunate side effect. Some of the side effects of his condition is poor eating habits. It literally sucks every ounce of energy out of him when he tries to drink a bottle. One of the requirements for him to be able to come home is that he must be able to take all of his feedings by a bottle, for 2 days in a row. We were doing really good for a while, and then suddenly he slowed down, which caused him to have to stay in the hospital longer. Everyone was angry, saying "they should just let him come home. Even if he isn't eating well, we can deal with it.". However, these past few days, God showed me yet again, why his plan doesn't match our plan. Yesterday, and the day before, Nicholas started having heart rate drops. One of them was so severe that they had to pick him up and shake him to make him start breathing again. It was in his sleep. Had he been at home, we would have never known his heart rate was dropping.
I think that everyone has to remember that Nicholas is in God's hands. God put him at Presbyterian hospital for a reason. Maybe he knew what he was facing, and knew that the doctors here would be able to help him.
It has taken me a while to come to terms with the fact that Nicholas is not a healthy baby. I can't expect him to grow and mature like a healthy baby. I have to be patient and understand that his homecoming is going to happen. It just has to happen on his terms. When Nicholas is ready.
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